Can You Still Love Me?
by Blake-the-N00B
Summary: My enthusiastically violent brother once said to me, "When I am king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all." He was talking of the frost giants then...and so far, he has kept his word.
1. Chapter 1

Loki stared at his blue hand dully as the blue colour slowly crept up his arm. He took his hand from the glowing artifact, but the blue remained. Look at that, he thought, the frost giants have been the enemy of Asgard for years...and look what I am. He drew a slow breath when the tears began to fill his eyes the grip he had on the podium tightened.

_One evening during their teenage years, Thor held Loki in his arm as they laid together in his bed. The mattress was comfortable, the blanket was soft and Thor's heartbeat was strong against the black haired man's ear. A deep red blush spread across Loki's pale cheeks. The sun had just begun to set so the light shaped the God of Thunder's muscles perfectly. It also made the fair frame of Loki's body and face irresistibly attractive. Loki traced his fingers down Thor's bare torso and nuzzled close for warmth. "Loki," Thor's deep voice suddenly broke the rooms calm silence and caused the smaller male to jump. A small mm__sound came from Loki's throat as an answer as he shifted again against his brother's chest. "I love you," Thor said. There was a deep fondness and love in his brother's tone Loki only ever heard when the god was speaking to him._

The image swirled and blurred together as the tears were delayed from falling because of Loki's long eyelashes. He wiped them away with his sleeve. As a new wave of emotional turmoil crashed over him, Loki fell to the floor in a heap of helplessness and let his pain take him over. He was scared. His frail body shook as he sobbed. Oh how he was so scared. Not of his blue skin. Not of the lifetime of lies he had been told all his life. His sobs had now become gasps for breath. He was terrified of his brother. The very one that claimed to love him in more than a brotherly way. The only one who didn't know of his true heritage.

**_I remember tears streaming down my face when you said, "I'll never let you go." When all those shadows almost killed my light. I remember I said, "Don't leave me here alone,"_**_when it was storming outside. Thunder crashed loudly and the lightning cut through the dark like a sword. A young Loki squeezed his eyes as tight as they would go. He hid under his covers and pulled them tighter and tighter around him with each eruption of noise. He didn't hear his door open, all he felt was the bounce of his bed. He cried out because he thought the window had opened and something had gotten thrown in from the storm. "Brother," he heard his brother's voice next to his ear, "brother are you okay?" Loki scrambled to cling to Thor's body in a desperate attempt for comfort "i-it's going to hurt me!" Thor wrapped his arms around his frightened baby brother and chuckled, "thunder can't hurt you," he reassured. This did not calm the frightened boy, he just buried his head into the arm of the blonde, "it's scary!" Even though they were around the same age, Loki always felt comforted by his brother as if he were much older. When Thor moved, Loki held on tighter and whimpered, "Don't leave me here alone! Brother I'm scared!" Thor just pulled Loki's blankets over his own head and took Loki's hand in his own, "don't worry, brother. I'll never let you go."_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight._ He would never feel his brothers comforting touch again. He was a monster. He felt like his child self again, scared and fragile. "Broth-ther p-plea-ease," he stuttered heavily through the tears even though no one was there to hear him, "I'm s-so scared-d." The door to the hall opened and Loki thought of running, but there was no where for him to go. He just sat on the floor and sobbed.


	2. Chapter 2

Rushed footsteps echoed off the walls and got close to Loki. He didn't look up and he didn't move. He knew of only one person who would run to him like that. Loki flung his arms around his dear brother's neck and clung to him like he did when he was a child. Sobbs shook his body and he grabed fistfulls of the thick red cape Thor wore on his shoulders. "Brother," a comforting, deep voice said in his ear as strong arms closed him in a hug, "what is the matter?" Loki took a shaky breath to try and steady himself. It barely worked, but at least he could speak in such a way that someone could understand him, "d-do you remember, w-when we were little a-and you told me w-what you will do w-when you are k-king?" Thor paused, "about which part? I told you a lot of stories of what I would do," amusement hid in his tone under the concern.

Loki's grip tightened on his brother's cape before he pulled completely away and shakily got to his feet. His tear stained cheeks and frightened eyes reflected how he was feeling on the inside: broken. Thor watched his younger brother closely, then stood with him, "what part, brother?" Loki reached for the blue artifact on the podium and grasped it with one hand, "th…the frost giant part, dear brother." Loki's fingers slowly turned blue, then the colour crept up his hand to his arm. Thor's eyes widened as he watched, "I...I do not understand." Loki then burst into tears again and yelled at his brother. He was frustrated and just wanted his brother to understand and tell him that all would be well!

"I am a f-frost giant, you quim! Odin lied to m-me- us, all these years! I am not h-his son! I am Laufey's!" Thor stared at Loki, who's entire face was now blue, and his once green eyes had gone a deep red, but the still reflected the fear that gripped his heart. His brother…a frost giant. That couldn't be. Odin wouldn't lie to him about his brother, would he? Would his own mother lie about having a second son? It must have been a moment or so of silence because tears began to flow from Loki's eyes again and when he spoke, he sounded very fragile, "b-brother please...s-say something." Thor blinked his thoughts away to clearly see the glistening green eyes of his brother. They gazed directly into his own in a sort of desperation that the god had never seen from the other man; it was almost childlike in a way.

Loki's heart began to hurt. Thor hadn't moved...hadn't spoken at all since his own outburst. He searched the two pools of blue on Thor's face for answers. What was he thinking? Would Thor hurt him? Destroy him like he vowed to do all those years ago? His eyes blurred with a new wave of painful tears when he opened his mouth to speak, "Thor...b-brother please."

**Thor cut Loki off with a step forward, "Loki, stop." Loki could feel part of his heart break with the tone in his brothers voice, and the fact that his birth name was used. The raven **haired man fell silent then and he just listened. His hand fell limply to his side as if he had given up and his eyes found the floor.

"I still do not understand," the blonde began, his blue eyes looking over the fading blue skin of his brother, "but this is not your fault. You are still my brother."

Loki looked up with light in his eyes again, a light that was quickly wiped away when he saw his brother again. The denial that was there before was gone. He was at ease once more. It couldn't be… he reached out and touched the artifact again and kept his eyes on Thor as his skin changed again. There is was...the denial. The look Loki saw was identical to the one his father had given him when he told Loki the truth of where he came from. No...it couldn't be. Not Thor…

"You don't really love me anymore, do you?"

Thor was taken back by Loki's question, "Loki, you are my brother, of course I love you."

"But I am not your blood!" Loki cried out, suddenly angry with Thor. "I have frost giant blood racing through my veins! Not Asgardian!"

"That makes no difference to m-"

"No difference?! You lie, Thor!" Hot angry, frustrated tears poured down Loki's pale cheeks. "I see the way you change when my skin does! You don't like it! You don't accept it you hate it! You hate me! You can't stand it! I know you want to do nothing but destroy me like the rest of the frost giants! Don't try to lie to me Thor, I know when you lie! You hate me!"

"That is not true, Loki." Thor stepped forward and wrapped his brother in his arms for a strong hug. Loki pushed against it feebly as he began to shake once more without the result of freedom. "I still love you," Thor said quietly into Loki's ear.

Loki's rage was broken when he asked, "How? H-how can you love my reality when it is painfully obvious you crave my illusion?"

Thor pulled back some to look into Loki's beautiful green eyes. He took the dark haired man's hand in his and brought the middle knuckles to his lips, "because," he said before he laid a kiss on the sensitive skin, "even though you are not my blood brother, I still think of you as a brother," he kissed again,"and a lover. This changes nothing. It was just a surprise is all."

Loki felt a blush spread across his cheeks and he wrapped his arms around Thor and squeezed tightly, "d-do you promise?"

Thor held his brother closely to his chest and kissed his hair, "I promise, my dear brother."


End file.
